My Christmas Wish
By Kenneth Dennis
I know this is a bit unusual, so I am going to offer this free of Charge on my personal website. As many of you know, my dad died in 2007. That day, my life was missing him like there was no other thing.
Up to that day, we spoke on AOL Messenger, by email and by phone. It was nice hearing his voice and I remember then times that we shared together. The time that I graduated High School when I was 18. I also listened to his advice when I needed the help. The stories when he was a kid, and he would tell the story in a very funny way.
My dad’s heart was what I miss the most. When it came down to the kids, he was a very protective person. If you hurt any of us boys then may God have mercy on your soul. One time, one of my brothers got bit by the dog. As soon as dad heard about it, he went inside to shoot the dog. My brother saved the dogs life that day. He said, “It was my fault.” Dad put the gun down and apologized for wanting to kill the dog.
Back in 1988, Dad told me to promise him that I would further my education on the week before High School Graduation. He said, “Kenny, you are the first Dennis boy to graduate High School. None of us has ever reached that achievement. You do not know just how proud that I am of you. I want you to walk off and do something else that none of us ever did. I want you to further your education.
Dad could not afford putting me into college and so I joined the Navy. I am not going to say in this article what happened, but I was not able to get a college degree. Yeah, I got to cook and was in the Navy as a chef, but computers were my true calling. I even told Dad that I wanted to pursue a degree in college at the time. Dad said, “I can’t afford it. I am so sorry, Kenny.”
That was the way that Dad was in real life. Dad was a very outgoing person in more than one way. He was a bit of a flirt to some of the ladies, as well. He believed that you needed to put a Lady so high up on the pedestal so high that you should look up their dress. What he meant by that statement was this, “You need to respect them and never ever hit a woman.”
Dad was a very nice person and was very flirtatious. He would cut up with anyone if he got to know you. Yes, it was a bit different. However, it was the way that dad was. Dad just knew how to get the person to laugh and never made anyone feel uncomfortable.
I wound up moving to Springfield Missouri and we kept in touch. We would talk for hours on the phone, and we also talked in AOL Messenger. At that time, I was working in the newspaper packaging business and for the record, I remained working for them for over 30 years going from state to state after 2007.
At the time of his passing, I was asked to come home. I looked at the head boss and said, “Mary, I have been called to go home by my dad. He is on his death bed. Mary looked at me and said, “Kenny, if you go home then do not come back because you will be fired.” My step-mom put me on the spot and said, “Kenny, you need to come home. Your dad wants you. I even argued with my boss and said, “You are putting me into a position, and this is wrong. I must go home. My dad is going to die.” Mary once again responded, “If you leave then you are fired. We need you here.”
The next day, I found out that my dad died. I Was allowed to go home for the funeral. One of my brothers stated to me at the funeral. He said, “I was going to pay for you to come home. I was going to pay for a bus ticket. I hate you for what you did to your own dad. I hate you more than anything for not being able to come home when he asked you to come home.” He did do as he said he was going to do because I got kicked out of the family for it. This is why I am posting this online so he can at least understand my predicament and why I was not able to go home. Of course, after the funeral, I looked for an opening and got transferred to Florida. If I did not do it then I would say some very unkind words to my boss.
After 14 years, I got injured on the job in Fayetteville, North Carolina. This is when I decided to get a master’s and bachelor’s degree. I got a degree in Mobile development at Independence University. The very degree that I told my dad just 14 years ago. However, I decided that writing is more of my cup of tea. I got a master’s degree at Full Sail University not long after. However, this is leading to this one little wish.
I wish for Christmas to see my dad for one last time. I know this is something that can not happen. I want to tell him with his body in my arms on how much stuff that I did in memory of him. The fact that I got a degree as a writer. How I successfully got a degree, and I did it just to keep my promise to him.
I also want to know what he wanted, and his final words was for me. Therefore, dad called me to come home. I did not get a chance to say goodbye to my dad. I would like to at least give my dad a final goodbye. I have no hate to anyone just because they could not honor his final wish. My family wanted his URN sent to me. It is not like being able to hug my dad and say goodbye to him. It is not like being able to hear his voice for one last time.
I wish in a lot of way that my family did not kick me out of the family just because I did not grant dad his final wish. This was way out of my control. If I would have quit my job, then I would have been on the unemployment line. Yes, I hate Mary for what she did. Putting me on the spot like she did. I had no choice in the matter and believe me. I argued with her, and I told her to take the job and shove it, years later.
It also would be nice having them calling me on the phone and talking without any hate or resentment. However, my true wish is just to see my dad even if he is some ghost. Just to physically spend one day with him. That is my true Christmas Wish.
A personal message to my Family:
I will say this to the family. If you think that I meant ill will in my videos, then I do apologize. Getting angry over statements that had no ill intentions was wrong. Also, not burying my father’s ashes with his wife as mentioned in his last wishes was also wrong. Especially because you did not like the guy. He took you in as his own kids and showed you a lot of love. He did everything that he could be a dad to you.
Also kicking me out of the family because you did not appreciate to whom that I married as well as not being home for dad is quite wrong. I still love you as your brother no matter what. Why? It is what dad would have wanted if he was still alive. It would be nice to exchange gifts with each other after all these years would be a nice gesture for peace.
There is a reason as to why I never called you on the phone. You refused to take the time to make peace with me and I am not a person to push myself on anyone. Why? I prefer you calling and talking to me. That is why, I never called you on the phone and never chatted with you. I have no way and speaking to you on the phone because I do not even know your number. So, I posted this on my personal website to make peace and to try to get you to open up and talking. You are more than welcome to leave a comment if you just get your head out of your ass and listen.
what-the-book 